My Religion

I thought i would talk about religion a little bit.About MY religious beliefs,that is.


I am a Muslim by birth but could say that i am an agnostic by beliefs.I have an orthodox Muslim family.But they try to brainwash me with religious beliefs especially my mom.But i believe one should have the freedom and the ability to question his purpose and truth of existence.I refuse to believe that we were created as a fluke of nature but i refuse to believe the fairy tales told by the religions also...As far as i have seen most of the biggest wars in the world was fought over what religion other people believes in.But the crappiest thing is this doesn't affect people in any fundamental way as human beings,but every religion now seems like an excuse for people to indulge in their greed for money and power.Most of the religious leaders in most of the religions are hypocrites.In Islam the previous generation of old bastards who think they control the destiny of their flock thought that television was one of the greatest evil,but now every asshole wants their own TV program because they know that it brings them money and fame.

What i want to basically say is why doesn't these bastards admit what they are,Horny,Greedy or whatever instead of being holier than though??????

My Best Friend's wedding

As per the title it was my best friend Bipin's wedding last month.For him it was a good day but for me it was the crappiest day of my life.I was really excited about it,because it is my best friends freaking wedding.We were friends from college and he was the first best friend i ever had.You see i was always the outsider during my school years and i liked it because i knew that the rest of the kids were disgusted by me....
But this guy came up to me like he was going to rag me on the first day of college and since i am a violent person by nature i was preparing for a fight but he cooled me down and we were best friends from then onwards.
But all these changed last month,He knew my parents very well and i knew his parents also.But for the wedding all he did was just call me up and kind of told me to be there but kind of only mentioned my parents in passing.He mentioned that he has a sprain in his leg so he wouldn't be able to come to invite me personally but only when i asked him about coming.
The fact is he lives like 25 minutes away from me and he couldn't come to invite me or my family although he goes to work traveling for like one and half hours.But as fate would have it my brother's friend's brother got married on the same month.He lives like 2 hrs away and because of the traffic jam probably would take 4 hrs to reach here,but the fact is he did even though it wasted half a day he took the effort.If it was mine or my brother's wedding i would have gone personally and invited Bipin and his mom and dad,if due to some unforeseen circumstance i was unable i would have sent my brother or failing that my parents.
To top this all I met another friend of ours called Denzil like 3 days before the wedding.The thing is i am not much of a religious guy but not an atheist either,but this random encounter seemed like a sign from god telling to open my eyes.Denzil informed me that there is going to be a get together of friends on the night before the wedding.He isn't that close to Bipin but i seemed to be mysteriously misinformed about this function.So when he asked me whether i am going to be there i had to lie and say something like i have somewhere else I have to be,,blah blah blah etc.I was so embarrassed to tell him that since I am not invited for the party i couldn't attend because then I would be like a wedding crasher.So what I gather from these events is that I am just not that important a person to him as he is to me.Moreover,he is just taking me for granted.Since I always stand by my friends he expected that i would be there no matter how he treated me.
I always criticize people for being emotional fools and being loyal to people who doesn't care about others.So if i went to this wedding i would be a hypocrite,so i didn't bother to go even though it was the hardest decision i ever made in my life...
Like one month before the wedding i spent like 1000 bucks to buy a dress for myself just for that occasion.I also planned on buying an expensive Fast Track watch from Titan for my friend Bipin.The thing is although he is financially well off he always had a crappy and cheap watch.So during the last of our college days i told him i will buy him a watch for his wedding to Liji his love of almost ten years.Although he did not take it seriously that was a promise I planned to keep.But now I have a watch but no friend to give it to.Just like the rest of my life.
I have stood by him during fights in the college and I would have taken a bullet for him if the need arose.But i was insulted and felt small in front of my parents for having a friend like him.Probably he would have forgot my face by this shot time.I always regarded friends more than family because i was treated like shit by family whom i thought was really close to me.But now i find that friendship also ends this way.I think i have lost my ability to trust anybody again.I feel like crawling inside my skin to die.I had lost my belief in everything else in this world,but friendship was the only thing i still believed in but now i know better.You cannot trust anybody other than ourselves.But although my friendship with him is over and I think I will probably will never see him again i believe i have made the right decision for once in my life.

But then why does it still feels like there is a hole where my heart used to be!!!!!!!!!

Delhi Trip

I went to Delhi for a few days to meet a great friend of mine named Prateek, It was an eye opening experience and it was a great cultural shock.But that is because I am not used to stuff like that and I live a mostly predictable life,and maybe it is not a bad thing because we would at least be left alone and we wouldn't have to worry about hypocrites like here in Kerala over there.I hate Kerala.It is mostly because of the hypocrites over here.Who claim to be so holier than though.The politics in family is another unbearable thing.I seriously need to move to another state,where my family and rest of the mallus are not there.Any way Prateek is kind of like my old literature buff buddy.He is one of those few people with whom i can have an intelligent conversation about good movies,books,philosophy etc.Actually the only other person with whom I can talk about things like that is Firoz a buddy of mine from Firstsource.Anyway after i came back Prateek started doing the thing he usually does after we are in contact for a while.He stopped contacting, I don't thing it's anything personal.He usually does this,this would be the third time.I am quite used to it by now, it's his nature.Any way it was a refreshing change and it really changed the way I perceive the world.
I did not have a camera other than my N73 which has a 3.2MP camera but since it's a mobile it's slow.So there aren't that many pics and what I have are not that good also.So here they are,check it out----