In India Again and Fucking bored with life

OK I am in India again.For 36 days this time.I am getting bored and I am having a midlife crisis at the age of 27.My mom and dad wants me to get married.I am still not sure what I want.Getting married seems like the end of my life.I still feel like I haven't done anything with my life although I have done been in situations which a normal person wouldn't be in.But I feel like I played it too safe in my life that I missed out on a lot.And I am fucking bored with everything.I used to watch 2 three movies a day,in fact I watched so many movies that I ran out of good movies in English and started watching french,Korean,Japanese,Swedish movies etc with subtitles.I used to be a huge David Lynch fan,I still haven't watched his latest movie even after having it in my movie archive.I finished Stephen King's book "The Stand"(which was 1420 pages long)in 4 days.Now I have his latest book "Under The Dome" with me and i still haven't got to the quarter of that book.I just bought Ayn Rand's sociological fiction work "Atlas Shrugged"which showcases her unique Philosophy "Objectivism" and I haven't even started reading it.I wanted to go to Europe this year to see the sights,but i just don't feel like it.Fuck I am so bored with my life.

My Religion

I thought i would talk about religion a little bit.About MY religious beliefs,that is.


I am a Muslim by birth but could say that i am an agnostic by beliefs.I have an orthodox Muslim family.But they try to brainwash me with religious beliefs especially my mom.But i believe one should have the freedom and the ability to question his purpose and truth of existence.I refuse to believe that we were created as a fluke of nature but i refuse to believe the fairy tales told by the religions also...As far as i have seen most of the biggest wars in the world was fought over what religion other people believes in.But the crappiest thing is this doesn't affect people in any fundamental way as human beings,but every religion now seems like an excuse for people to indulge in their greed for money and power.Most of the religious leaders in most of the religions are hypocrites.In Islam the previous generation of old bastards who think they control the destiny of their flock thought that television was one of the greatest evil,but now every asshole wants their own TV program because they know that it brings them money and fame.

What i want to basically say is why doesn't these bastards admit what they are,Horny,Greedy or whatever instead of being holier than though??????

Existentialism

Ok.today i found out what is the name of the feeling and apprehensiveness i have been facing for sometime,It is known as Existentialism.Which means we feel disconnected from society and we feel life is meaningless and we live on just to move to the next day.There is no great purpose in life,we live so that we can just move from one meaningless motion to another without any purpose or direction.Well,is there a state for one's being other than these moods.I feel so helpless that religious zealousness and total mind numbing fuckery is all we have as an answer for this dilemma.

Reason for existence

What is it that we live this life for.I need some sort of reason for this existence.Is the purpose of life to be born,study,make money,get married,have some kids and die,where in our kids continue the same meaningless circle that we continued.Is the grand plan of god to make his creations procreate.There should be more purpose than this.Each day i get up and i live a pointless existence where movies and books are what offers an escape from this mundane life.Are we really just an accident,a fluke that happened in the universe.As far as i see i see no difference between us and the rest of the animals of the world,the only difference is we build things and we think.Maybe thinking is the mistake that was made by the grand creation.How pathetic is when we have superior intellect but what we follow is the same code of conduct followed by the animals.Eat,sleep,survive,reproduce,die.

so,what is the purpose of life and ability to think when all we do is follow the blind patterns all over again????